Between computer problems, personal challenges, a recent business trip to Las Vegas – yes, business - and just plain ’stuff’, I have been out of touch.

Although a great smile can and often does make my day.

Actually, it was my first time in Vegas in over 12+ years – so many changes and so much growth. I do have to admit to not liking the haphazard growth along the strip. Not the gaudyness – that’s to be expected - but just, I don’t know – can’t find the right word(s).

Any way, I will begin adding posts this week.

I hope you have a great week!

Bob

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.
~Johann Schiller

Friday, as I watched the tributes for Tim Russert, I reflected not on his ability to know the news or his ability to interpret the news. Instead I reflected on his relationships with his father, Big Russ and his son, Luke. It is and was amazing, and something to be treasured by all of us. How I wished I had that with my father but it was not to be. My father passed at an age much younger even than Tim - 42 years old.

My father died many years ago, and yet when something special happens to me, I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears, but it makes me feel better to half believe it.
~Fathers Day Quote by: Josefowitz

I was just a youngster at the time, so did not grow up really knowing him, learning from him and enjoying him. Yes, my brother and I did have good times with dad during those early years - especially around ice cream - but that is not the same as aging with him would have been. To this day it hurts to know he is gone.

4 years: My Daddy can do anything!
7 years: My Dad knows a lot…a whole lot.
8 years: My father does not know quite everything.
12 years: Oh well, naturally Father does not know that either.
14 years: Oh, Father? He is hopelessly old-fashioned.
21 years: Oh, that man-he is out of date!
25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.
30 years: I must find out what Dad thinks about it.
35 years: Before we decide, we will get Dad’s idea first.
50 years: What would Dad have thought about that?
60 years: My Dad knew literally everything!
65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.
~Fathers Day Quote by: Unknown

Treasure the time you have with all your loved ones, for you never know when that call will come to take them home! And mom is gone now these several months, but at 92 she lived a long life and we had a great deal of fun with her. I miss her smile!

One night a father overheard his son pray:

Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.
~Fathers Day Quote by: Unknown

When we were very young my father passed - he was much too young, being in his very early 40’s. And we were much too young to really know him.

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.” ~Peter De Vries

As a result of his passing, mom took on the task of raising my younger brother and I. This was no easy task, as it meant going to work full time to provide for all our families needs, as well as the actual raising of two teenage boys. But she did what she had to do.

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” ~Rajneesh

Life wasn’t always easy for us but with other family members around we managed to smile and laugh a great deal as we went on. And being Italian, though money was always scarce, the home cooked meals were always something to crow about. It was a good life, despite the fact our dad was not there.

“Mothers are special; they give birth to you and watch you grow up and succeed. But, it is up to you to make your mom proud.”
by Hannah

I miss your smile most of all and I hope the day comes when brother and I truly make you proud to have been Our Mother! As proud as we are to have been your sons and of our Italian heritage.

You may be treated like the maid,
you may be treated like the gardner,
you may be treated like the daycare,
you may be treated like the chauffer,
you may be treated like many things.
But one thing is for sure,
You will always be loved.
For a fathers work may be from sun up till sundown,
but a mothers work is never down.
And all that I have, am, and hope to be, I owe to you,
So this is for all the times I forgot to say THANK YOU!!

- Alison Thompson

Several months ago I purchased a new, relatively state of the art, computer. Unfortunately, it came with Windows Vista Home Premium installed. But I use(d) it none the less. And it’s actually been working pretty good.

Now, as with other Windows systems I used, I had set the system to automatically check for and install updates. Never ever had problems with this. So I did the same with this Vista installation.

Again, it was working fine, until this week, when the system downoaded and installed Vista SP 1! Not thinking I folowed the instructions to restart the computer. And that was last I saw of my computer! The computer would no longer boot up, except to a message which gave me several options: Boot in safe mood, restart normally, etc. And of course the old; use the install disc that came with your system to ‘repair’! Which ain’t workin either!!

So here I sit with an expensive door stop!!

Again, Thank You Mr. Gates and Microsoft!

In this situation try to look at things from their point of view and understand how they may react to the fact that you haven’t paid your account. Treat them as you would hope to be treated yourself if you were in a similar situation. Communication and understanding can be key in managing your debt.

The creditor provided you a product or service which has cost them time or money, or both. What they expect in return is for their account to be paid. They are trying to run a business and for all that you know they might be faced with financial difficulties themselves where they are reliant on getting the accounts paid on time to cover their expenditures. This may be esecially true with the credit crunch in todays real estate market.

So when you are faced with a situation where you can’t pay your creditors you need to contact them as soon as

possible to explain the situation and assure them that you will pay the account as soon as you can. You need to

make them feel satisfied that they will be getting their money even though there will be a delay and that delay

has only been caused because you simply have no alternative.

This communication can reduce the chances of creditors taking legal action against you to recover the money. It

will make them feel a lot more comfortable than for you to remain silent and not let them know what is going on

and have one month drag into the next when your account hasn’t been paid. They become ever more frustrated

at the fact that you are not responding to their requests for contact or payment.

Keep your creditors informed as to any changes in your situation. This will help to build some form of trust between you and your creditors and they will begin to understand that you are making a concerted effort to clear your account.

If you can, get recommendations from people within your area who have used specific credit counseling agencies and have been pleased with the results, There are many credit counseling agencies do not deliver.

A good counseling agency will be able to review all aspects of your budget and give you realistic goals you will be able to achieve.

These organizations should understand your requirements and be able to help you to work through your problems while still maintaining a reasonable standard of living.

Reviewing all your finances and making suggestions on whether or not you need to refinance, consolidate your loans, or anything else that needs immediate attention is a major part of what these agencies do. Therefor it is vital that you provide the agency with complete and full imformation on your particular situation.

If you find yourself a good credit counseling agency they will work with you over the long term ‘tuning’ your budget to suit your changing needs as your debts decrease. This ‘tuning’ is important as well if unexpected challenges arise.

A good credit counseling agency will help you make arrangements with your creditors/lenders to help you pay off your debt and ward off legal action for the recovery of outstanding money. If they have been in existance for a while the agency should have a track record with creditors/lenders.

Check their fees before employing them as there are many who charge excessive amounts that will get you into more debt than they can help you get out of.

Some of these agencies are non-profit but don’t assume they are. Checking their credentials can be done by getting a copy of an IRS approval of non-profit status and also checking with your states Attorney General. The genuine non-profit credit counseling agencies will probably be the least expensive but just because you won’t be shelling out a lot of money doesn’t mean you won’t be getting the best service.

Often these non-profit organizations have a better understanding of the difficulties that the ordinary person faces handling their finance.

If you are to expect the best results with you debt management, you will have to reveal everything you can about your income, expenditures, and the problems that you have had with payment of your debts, as well as your credit history. It is only when they have the full picture that they will be able to help you make the best decisions that will see you progressing towards your goal.

How often do you start something and before you finish you’re thinking about something else or changing your mind about whether you should finish or not?

It is common practice with most people to do this with this result: Lack Of Focus => Lack Of Achievement! Lack of focus is one of the biggest obstacles I face on a daily basis!

The only way you are going to progress towards your goal of debt management is to focus on the task at hand and take positive steps every day based on the plan you set forth to achieve that goal.

* Preparing a budget helps you to focus on your income and expenditure.

* Writing down daily tasks helps you to focus on achieving those tasks each day.

Without these processes set out for you to follow it’s very difficult to focus on what you need to do to get out of the situation you may be in.

By focusing on your goals regularly you actually change the way that you think about money and spending. This cam have tje effectof removing the bad habits that placed you in this situation in the first place.

The more that you focus and gain progress towards your goal, the easier it will become for you to focus on more important aspects of your life and finish things that may have been left in limbo for some time.

If you are the type of person who procrastinates a lot, then try focusing on just a few smaller things to begin with. Even if you have to write down something after you accomplished it! This places you in the habit of writing goals down. They will be the things that you write down on your to-do list each day. Those things that need immediate attention based on your budget.

Start the action that is necessary to achieve the required goal and don’t stop until you have finished it. Don’t move on to the next item on the list until the first item has been completed. This is the way to focus and it will bring you the results that you desire.

It ca be a lot easier than you may think to become a more focused person. It is certainly a lot easier to enjoy life when you don’t have the financial burden that comes about from not being focused.

The importance of the debt is determined by the impact that it can have on your life both now and in the future. For instance, clearing past due taxes might be one of the first debts that you would want to look at due to the penalties and compounding interest. Any type of debt that has a ‘compunding’ element to it is one you will want to tkae a hard look at. Federal and state taxing authorities have so many powers to seize assets and make life very difficult for you creates an extremely stressful situation!

A mortgage is another debt that needs to take top priority as losing your house can impact on your ability to pay all your other debts and also make it difficult for you to find accommodation elsewhere. If you don’t have your own home then you need to ensure that your rent and utility bills are kept up-to-date so you have a roof over your head and are able to live in suitable conditions to be able to work your way through your money problems.

Your budget will give you a clear indication of the total amount of debt that is owing to others and from there you can set your priority list where you can start to sort out payment plans with your creditors and your own steps to clear your debt.

Medical bills and court-ordered child support debt are also high on the priority list as failure to pay these can result in drastic action being taken that will once again make it difficult for you to work your way through your other debts.

Car loan repayments are a priority because car finance companies will quickly repossess your car if you fall behind with the payments and this can impact on so many other areas of your life such as your ability to get to your place of employment.

Don’t be forced into paying minor debts at the hands of debt collectors if you haven’t covered these priority debts first. Remember, try to work directly with your creditors, or credit agencies in your local area, rather than debt collectors.

But, if like many of us, you have excessive amounts of debt then you need to take a little more action to reduce the impact this will have on your life, your credit rating and your future.

Whether you have a lot of creditors or a lot of debt owing to a few creditors you need to contact them and try to work out some type of schedule. You can begin to pay them off in installments over a period of time that is acceptible and manageable to all concerned parties. If you are being hounded by collection agencies, suck it up and contact the creditor directly. Make every effort to work directly with them, asking them to call off the collection agencies — You Need The Breathing Room!

Expect your creditors to try pressuring you! You need to be firm but honest with creditors. Let them know your budget restrictions and stick to what you agree upon. More often than not your creditors will be willing to work with you, knowing the debt will be cleared.

Circumstances change constantly in this volotile world of ours. Depending on your current ones, your installment payments may need adjusting over time so you can more easily handle them. Again, have a direct, honest conversation with the creditor.

If you don’t want to deal directly with creditors and the pressures involved, there are agencies in your local area that can help. Often you can get other advice that will help with the management of your finances and will be invaluable to helping you improve your financial position. You can find a list of government approved agencies here: http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/ccde/cc_approved.htm

Sometimes people ‘borrow’ more money to pay off existing debt - Be Very Careful With This Method! It can be beneficial where consolidation of your debt reduces costs in the form of penalties and interest. You should only borrow if you can find money at a lower interest rate than the debt that is currently owed. Reducing debt like this can sometimes lull you into a false sense of ‘having more money to spend’! Make sure you have the necessary discipline to not spend more when using this, or any other, method to reduce your debt!

And finally, if comes down to the wire and you really can’t afford to pay off the excessive amount of debt that you have built up there might be no alternative but to file for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy rules have changed over the last year so you should seek professional advice as to when and how to handle bankruptcy. It can make the difference between eliminating your debt completely or alternatively giving you three to five years to pay off what is owed.

A debt management guide, such as this, may be helpful to you as well.

You can also find materials here that will be helpful in making the necessary decisions to bring some relief to your situation.

Or we feel a need to celebrate something. Have there been occasions in your life when something happened, where you immediately felt the need to go out and celebrate by either buying something or having a meal at an expensive restaurant as a fitting end to a project or accomplishment? I have! Yes, some things are worth celebrating.

People will buy material items in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Or to keep up the Jone’s.

It is not uncommon for people with low self-esteem to spend money on items that they think will give others a higher opinion of them. People buy expensive cars or yachts to boost their ego. Instant gratification.

Some people buy when they are happy and some people buy when they are sad. Remember, “who you are is NOT defined by money”!

Many people buy with no thought about the future. The fact is, they are going to have to pay off the debt that they have just incurred for the next year or so - or longer. After all, I’m not taking actual cash out of my pocket!

You plunk down that piece of platic, take the product and go on your way - I didn’t ’spend’ any money! Think real hard - ever enjoyed those feelings?

Impulse buying can be particularly dangerous. It’s generally for items we don’t need. The debt that comes with these types of purchases is something that you definitely don’t need and may possibly regret for a long time. I have made purchases andthen later thought; “why did I by that, I didn’t really need it”!

Define precisely why you buy and you will have a great deal more control over your financial future, with this understanding - the short term benefits that you get from your buying sprees are certainly outweighed many times over by the stress and worry of the financial burden they can bring with them.

I use a debit card for almost all my purchases. My bank offers a second free checking account, which I use for almost all my ‘indiscrminate’ spending. I ‘transfer’ money to that account as needed. This ‘forces’ me to look at my account before spending and ask myself; “do I really need that item or have the dollars to pay for it”. My main account I use for the bills - phone, utilities, rent, etc.

It may even be necessary to seek the help of a professional debt counseler to help you change those bad habits that are getting you into financial strife on a regular basis.

My dad, god bless him, was a man who had bad financial habits, which I learned from him. Mom was the person who had to staighten out those bad habits - she was the ‘accountant’ in the family. More often than not bad habits are learned from our ‘environment’ as we grow up. More often than not our gut tells us if something is right or wrong in everything we do, including our financial life. All we need to do is - Listen.